Can’t sleep, can never sleep, not since…
Stare into space as the turmoil spirals the mind, builds pace.
The darkness brings with it a silence,
Interrupted only by ears ringing
From the cacophony of daytime discord.
The darkness brings with it a loneliness, uninterrupted.
Aimlessly gazing at luminous screens,
Their content blurred by distraction.
Lack of sleep and affected emotions
Prevent anything from making sense.
Time passes at a crawl, nervous system numbed
By nighttime cold and nighttime sentiment.
Midnight voyages, negotiating trip hazards in the dark,
Searching for solace in a space as cold as a broken heart.
Food is a tasteless substitute for sleep,
a momentary distraction from sleeplessness,
Eating takes up time, fills the mind
while being consumed by sadness.
Looking out onto an unrecognisable world, devoured by darkness,
Vacant and inactive, watching as the hours fade,
Waiting for the night to pass if only to escape the silence.
The garden outside the window, once a perfect respite,
Is now overgrown with invasive memories.
Silent cold, blue light night, civilisation under wraps,
Street light burning into the black,
Reminiscent of taxi drivers and night crawlers,
Concrete acres under sodium and fluorescents,
Silent streets filled with solitude,
Escape from nightmares in empty car parks.
How did I get here, so far from what I know,
Distant from all that is familiar?
Is this a bad dream or a nightmare realised?
A forest of emotions and questions overshadows everything
In these dark hours, shadows creep inside the mind
And I am helpless to escape them.